We are incredibly complex creatures. The Bible says we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" with great value, yet we typically think of ourselves and our dealings with other human beings on a much lower and more mundane plane of existence. We have been "wired" genetically with a set of inherited TEMPERAMENTS that make us individually unique with respect to all other members of the human race. This uniqueness should allow us to think unique thoughts and do unique things, but the world around us seems to exert an irresistible pressure, to conform us, to neatly catalog us into "acceptable" molds of conduct with predictable responses.

We all struggle against these forces, but the world generally wins to a greater or lesser degree. Personal losses may be shattered ambitions, destroyed relationships, or internal doubts about our self-worth. As the pressures of life continue, many people become "basket cases"; they may try to present a good image on the outside but are really living empty lives on the inside. What is your personal situation today??? It is the purpose of ACTIVITY I to give you an opportunity to reflect on this question.

Consider Chart I below as it might possibly relate to the comments just made. Those interconnected boxes are the result of a practical, not a theoretical, study of human nature. It has come to be in its present form as a result of many individual interactions over a period of years. Although refinements probably could be added, it seems to have become a useful tool in its present form for the purpose of personal evaluation and interpersonal discussion.

Notice how the individual parts of Chart I attempt to portray two primary aspects of our personality. On the one hand we have a BASIC HUMAN NATURE defining WHO WE ARE and described by certain inbred genetically programmed TEMPERAMENTS and tendencies. On the other hand, our PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT is often something markedly different as we form ATTITUDES and a sense of right versus wrong, i.e. CONSCIENCE, as we interact with the OUTSIDE WORLD through life.

Let’s follow the connections between the boxes that make up the separate parts of the diagram to see one way in which PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT might be explained.

Initially, it would seem that an infant should be pretty much driven by his or her inbred TEMPERAMENTS/GENETICS. After all, it's pretty hard to have a lot of ATTITUDES about things when you don’t know anything. Nevertheless, that shortcoming in no way prevents "US" from beginning to make decisions about matters as they come to our attention. Thus the WAY WE DECIDE immediately gets translated into WHAT WE DO.

(CHART I)

Now of course the initial process just described continues, so that later decisions are no longer dictated simply by our BASIC HUMAN NATURE. Our TEMPERAMENTS/GENETICS become blended with ATTITUDES that we form. Furthermore, these ATTITUDES are themselves changing so that we may change HOW WE THINK about things as we get new reactions or information from our surrounding world environment.

Some of those ATTITUDES might better be thought of as CONSCIENCE, for we form opinions about whether things are just or unjust. Thus we also evaluate the fairness or unfairness of the OUTSIDE WORLD as we observe PEOPLE, CIRCUMSTANCES, or SOCIETY, and as we have personal dealings with them.

You will notice that Chart I seems to indicate that such personality changes develop smoothly. That is, WHO WE ARE and HOW WE THINK drives the WAY WE DECIDE, then obviously that drives WHAT WE DO, etc. as the process keeps going round and round. However, we all know that things are more complicated.

Alas, the Chart has completely overlooked a characteristic of human nature that is every bit as fundamental to "US" as anything mentioned so far. It is strongly at work within "US", and dramatically affects an otherwise smooth personality development as we confront the storms of life.

The Chart supposed that our ATTITUDES are a blank slate when we began our lives, and that positive and negative ATTITUDES are formed thereafter in a manner that is quite logical and objective. However, as we study ourselves and others, we come to realize that HOW WE THINK does not come about simply by an objective study of the OUTSIDE WORLD. Rather, it happens by the ways in which PEOPLE, CIRCUMSTANCES, SOCIETY, etc. affect "US" in particular. We may not necessarily come to like ourselves very much, but we can’t deny that we are very much concerned about ourselves, and pretty much everything that goes on in the OUTSIDE WORLD gets played through that "filter". As someone has keenly observed, when you see a group photograph that includes you with your friends, whom do you look for first?

Chart I overlooked the fact that we human beings are very "SELF-CENTERED". Yes, we are most interested in what happens in the world around as it relates to "US". Therefore we are very sensitive to circumstances that directly affect "US", or to people who question our conduct or character, even if it might be true. One research study has found that it takes many "strokes" to overcome one "dagger". Hence, this part of our human nature can create intense feelings within "US", depending on individual TEMPERAMENTS. We begin to form negative ATTITUDES against those undesirable circumstances or criticisms, yet outwardly we try to make adjustments in our BEHAVIOR to make the problem go away. These BEHAVIOR adjustments may take several forms, depending on individual TEMPERAMENTS.

Some find success by play-acting to trick the OUTSIDE WORLD while really thinking another way. Another kind of TEMPERAMENT will simply withdraw from the source of the problem, possibly cutting off offending relationships, but the negative ATTITUDES remain. A third kind of TEMPERAMENT tends to opt toward the view that a good offense is the best defense, so "attacks" the source of the problem. It is not surprising that this approach usually causes external criticism to magnify rather than diminish.

Although our responses to undesirable circumstances or censure may take different forms, they all have one thing in common; they produce conflicts within "US". Conflicts that continue over long periods of time can be quite destructive both physically and mentally, because they not only can destroy inner peace and a sense of well being within "US", but they can also can produce obsessive and compulsive patterns of addictive BEHAVIORS. Those dotted lines running up against normal personality development show those internal conflicts within "US".

Such unresolved conflicts work against our well being, our relationship with the OUTSIDE WORLD, and always against better SPIRITUALITY. They are enemies of SPIRITUALITY because they create something within "US" that threaten our sense of well being, but are difficult or impossible to control. How is it possible to feel spiritual if we find ourselves in a constant state of inner turmoil? For example, our CONSCIENCE may convict us that an ATTITUDE of bitterness toward another person is wrong, yet once it is fully conceived, it becomes extremely difficult to erase from HOW WE THINK. Or we may decide that a certain BEHAVIOR pattern has become compulsive and we want to be free of it, only to discover that try as we might, that out-of-control BEHAVIOR persists.

After we have struggled with such negative ATTITUDES or ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS for a long time we often try to justify HOW WE THINK and WHAT WE DO. After all, no one wants to admit failure in his or her life. We may take any of several paths down the dangerous roads of justification or hopelessness.

• We can try to justify ATTITUDES and BEHAVIORS/ADDICTIONS by making them seem small in comparison with the wrongs of others. Unfortunately, this causes our CONSCIENCE, the moral compass of our life, to no longer gives a true sense of direction.

• We can take the view that there must be something wrong with our BASIC HUMAN NATURE, so we are not responsible for it. However, if that were really true (it is not), then nothing could be done about the problem.

• We can manufacture an idea of "GOD" as we understand Him that simply accommodates HOW WE THINK or WHAT WE DO. The problem with this is that spiritually with such a "GOD" will produce no changes in our life since we can come to believe that He is satisfied with "US" just the way we are.

• We can blame other PEOPLE, CIRCUMSTANCES, or SOCIETY, blaming them for our problems. But if the OUTSIDE WORLD were really the problem (it is not), then there is no reason for "US" to change.

• We can blame ourselves but then secretly struggle with the internal conflicts in an almost vegetative state of unfulfillment and doubt. Many people live their entire lives in such a state of discouragement and defeat.

Do any of these paths describe your ATTITUDES or BEHAVIORS? Explain?
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How do you most often react to adverse circumstances or criticism?

Use personality strengths against the problem _____
Passively withdraw from the source of the problem _____
Aggressively retaliate against the source of the problem _____
Other? _____

At this point in the SPIRITUALITY WORKSHOP, could you think of a better way to react to internal conflicts? What would it be?

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Study four different types of TEMPERAMENTS given below. Although these four types may seem somewhat arbitrary, experience has shown that it is possible to classify people as EXTROVERT, INTROVERT, ACTIVE, PASSIVE, or some blend of them. Of course, these types are still too general for practical use, so each of them is broken down into more detailed Temperament traits within each of the boxes. With this greater detail, we can begin to better understand the way each type of person will tend to deal with the OUTSIDE WORLD.

The EXTROVERT tends to be more emotional than average, has a cheerful outlook, often reacts to things quickly and spontaneously, and has an entertaining curiosity about almost anything. He or she is a natural "people person". They are enjoyable to be around because the discussion will always be lively and you won’t have to do much talking because they are quite capable of long monologues. They do real well as salespersons, teachers, actors, or public speakers for obvious reasons.

The INTROVERT is the flip side of the coin. He or she may do quite a bit of talking until you put them in a crowd then they clam up. But they don’t turn their brains off for they are highly analytical and like to be precise in their thinking. While the EXTROVERT is entertaining everyone, the INTROVERT is analyzing everyone. They tend to think a lot of profound thoughts and so, often evidence a creative inclination. Since they may be very imaginative, they often gravitate toward careers that emphasize artistry, philosophy, or theory, and they don’t mind research at all for it gets them away from people.

The ACTIVE TEMPERAMENT may at first be difficult to distinguish from the EXTROVERT but not for long. In a group situation, the EXTROVERT is just glad to be there, excited by the opportunity of getting to know more folks. But the ACTIVE person, though he or she may be quite talkative, wants to know why this group was formed, and if an acceptable answer is not forthcoming is not shy to step up to the task of organizing it with suitable goals and objectives. This person is direct and to the point, confident that he or she is up to the task, not afraid to take chances, and wanting to be in charge of whatever is going on. It's not hard to imagine why career specialties like program manager, producer, or military commander, are naturals for such an individual.

Now these rather tongue-in-cheek comments about these four types of TEMPERAMENTS do not intend to poke fun at any of them. Actually you will notice that the TEMPERAMENT types, along with their detailed traits, are neither good nor bad---they just are. Each person has certain genetically coded tendencies in the areas just described, and wouldn’t the world be a dull place if it were not so? Moreover, each one of "US" cannot be fitted neatly into a single one of these TEMPERAMENTS; we are almost without exception a blend of them so that the diversity accentuates our human uniqueness.

This overall picture of our TEMPERAMENTS might seem that our basic makeup is completely independent of our PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT through life, but that is not the case. In truth, our makeup of TEMPERAMENTS strongly influence HOW WE THINK and also the WAY WE DECIDE things. Therefore, while TEMPERAMENTS are neither good nor bad, when they are played against the OUTSIDE WORLD, they can influence many ATTITUDES, DECISIONS, and BEHAVIORS that can be quite destructive to our well being and to others. Let’s look at some of these related problems in more detail so we can better understand ourselves.

We would like to think influences of our TEMPERAMENTS on PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT would always be good, but remember that we are SELF-CENTERED, and quite sensitive to external circumstances or to attacks on our conduct or character. We have already seen how such criticism, whether just or unjust, can produce internal conflicts and extreme reactions from "US". It is important to identify how some of these PROBLEM ATTITUDES and BEHAVIORS are related to each type of TEMPERAMENT, because that will help "US" figure out later why we have become the way we are.

The following two sets of connected boxes in Charts IIA and IIB show the kinds of PROBLEM ATTITUDES and PROBLEM BEHAVIORS that often come with the EXTROVERT and INTROVERT. Since their TEMPERAMENTS are opposite in many respects, it’s natural that their PERSONALITIES would also develop along different lines.

Notice how TEMPERAMENTS that are neither good nor bad by themselves can influence ATTITUDES and BEHAVIORS in ways that can be very negative when confronted with the problems of life.

Notice that even the way these two types of people make decisions, tends to be different. The EXTROVERT tends to makes decisions intuitively (quick, instinctive, spontaneous), however the INTROVERT is often very systematic (slower, step-by-step) in arriving at a conclusion. Either way is okay, just like the TEMPERAMENTS to which they relate, however when these are coupled with those ATTITUDES and BEHAVIORS, we will now see how PROBLEMS can be magnified.

  (CHART IIA)                            (CHART IIB)
 EXTROVERT                                       INTROVERT